power, poetry & Passion

Dearest gentle reader,

It has honestly been a while i made a blog, i have spent alot of time wondering what i even want this platform to be about and there are so many people saying and doing so many wonderful things on here. My voice might get lost and in real life i do not think people have the attention span or care for what i have to say. So, i will be my audience and this would be a small small corner of the internet. Like a faceless diary where i can be human and collapse as one.

I recently turned 24 and honestly, I am sad, I have a degree and multiple certificates and yet still unemployed. How i have been holding up would honestly be God, family and a shameful amount of pot. You know, I do not understand it. I studied Psychology back in school because i love studying peoples behavior and the mind. But if i knew that poor choice would lead to several months of unemployment and shit jobs i would go back and tell 16 year old me to just not follow her passions.

I have stayed following my passions because it is the only thing keeping me going but when the world does not see your worth are you still worth something. I am not lazy, I am not a freeloader, i have always worked so so hard for everything and i do not think i have had any form of respite. Depression and adulthood has stunned me into silence. And to say these are my “Glory” days makes me sad.

You know, I now actually understand why people decide to leave this earthly realm, i would not do it but i understand it. I saw this quote that says “I pray when death comes to find you, may it find you alive”. I started thinking can one die before truly dying and i believe so. This facade on Linkedin on who is the best campaign authority for the already failing system, the children have no safe and free places to play, earthworms do not come out of the ground anymore when it rains, the world is losing its color literally while we fixate on fictional stocks on margins, ask yourself when last you saw a butterfly or the cooing on birds. When last did you eat a mango and had its juices running down your elbows.

I miss a life i have not experienced and i want to leave a mark that i existed. I tried to exist, i tried to learn, i tried to grow and as you are reading this… I am still trying.